Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
