He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
love makes seman taste better
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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