But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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