I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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