so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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