You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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