Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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