Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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