i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
