I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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