she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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