shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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