That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sorry about my life...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
