I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
