If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
