Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize