You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
