Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
a search helicopter?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
