The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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