Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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