why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
