Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
