i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
