When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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