you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
