So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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