I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
