have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
