You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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