Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
