for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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