I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
