Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
