I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
