Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
