Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
