I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
