you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
