"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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