dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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