I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
