my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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