So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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