her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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