The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
