Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
