The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
