Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
