this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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