He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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