Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
