i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
