he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
