smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize