please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
