So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There are leaves in my underwear?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
