I can tuck mytits in my pants
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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