I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
