the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize