they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, beer. Big fan.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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